It sounds to me like you've just developed a defense mechanism. I think being in the ER exposes us to so much tragedy at times that we realize early on that we deal with it by focusing on our job and not the emotional aspect. I know that I am much the same way as you. I allow myself to feel sad at times when all is said and done, but usually I don't have time to deal with being sad because I have other duties that need tended. I also tend to only talk about it briefly if at all. Usually my co-workers and I will go back to our normal joking around and avoid the sadness entirely once we have it all said and done.

When a kid gets hurt- Emotionally I try to focus on the fact that I am trying to help him/her and less so on the injury. Our ER seperates the peds from adults, but I worked in the pediatric side for a year and a half and still pick up shifts there. But, I can't say I deal with this as much anymore.

When people die- I usually focus on getting the person prepared for family and getting the paperwork done. I leave the room when family enters. I don't like to see them mourn. It makes me sad when I don't want to be.

Anyways, you see what I mean. I don't get sad per say. I do whatever I can to avoid being in that state. I don't think it's heartless or meaning I don't care. It's just a matter of self defense. If I let everything, every tragedy sadden me at my work all the time, then I just couldn't do my job. I'd be an emotional wreck all the time. Now, if you look at your friends and family and feel like if a tragedy happens then you would still be numb, maybe it's beyond the what I would call normal defense mechanism of working in a place where sad things happen nearly everyday. Otherwise, I think you are doing what you need to do to survive in that enviroment. However, this is just one ER nurse talking to another. If you feel your feelings aren't right, then maybe they aren't.