View Full Version : Do you have any jokes that make people laugh?

09-17-2007, 05:57 PM
So there's a thread about funny things that people say to you. I was just curious to know the opposite. :aetsch:

Are there are funny things/jokes that you say to your patients? Of course, we have to consider the person and his/her background/situation and make sure the joke is appropriate, understandable etc.

However, do you, yourself, have any jokes you say to your patients sometimes?

09-17-2007, 06:10 PM
When I get a transfer order on a patient and check with the charge nurse to see what time the patient will go up, I then go tell the patient. I'll tell them, "Ok! You're set to go to the telemetry floor at 2pm. And when I say 2pm, I really mean 3 or 4pm."

For some reason, that gets a chuckle every time. And it's usually true anyway.

09-17-2007, 08:12 PM
I always make a joke about the hospital food to my patients and they always seem to laugh. Basically it goes something like, "The doctors wonder why the patients don't have appetites and it's like have you seen what they've been serving lately?"

Seriously, the food at my hospital is pretty gross. :tomato:

09-17-2007, 11:14 PM
When removing tape or Tegaderm from skin (ie IV sites usually) and the patient has a hard time with the hair coming off with it. (I'm very careful...but it still happens!)
I usually quip "Didn't you know about our free waxing service? No charge!)
I usually get a laugh from that.

12-10-2007, 03:12 PM
We have a big emphasis on patient safety right now, so when I ask a person to sit back and start to put the side rail up, I always say, "I'm going to put this side rail up because you would not believe the amount of paperwork I have to do if you should fall off this bed!" It usually gets a chuckle, and they feel less "trapped" that way...

I also usually talk to the patient while I am prepping them for the IV to get their mind off of it... I usually add something about "Don't you worry about this at all... I've watched this video a dozen times, and it looks real easy! I've always wanted to try this!"

12-10-2007, 06:23 PM
I hope when you're putting up side rails it's siderails x2 not x4, as not only is the latter a form of restraint, but it's been proven to cause more injuries than prevent!


12-10-2007, 06:49 PM
We have gurneys, not beds, and they only have two siderails...

Another reason for the humor, it is a safety requirement due to the width of the gurneys, and the transportation, but some people do feel a little "trapped"

And, yes, on a serious note, I've seen more confused little old ladies get hurt trying to crawl over the rails on the floors than falling out of bed...

12-10-2007, 07:29 PM
I use humor as a tension breaker whenever I can. It's a great way to put patients at ease but every once in a while using humor to break the tension can turn around and bite you in the a$$. That's why I usually keep my back against the wall while in the patient's room.:laugh:

12-10-2007, 11:08 PM
I hope when you're putting up side rails it's siderails x2 not x4, as not only is the latter a form of restraint, but it's been proven to cause more injuries than prevent!

And its amazing how the frail old lady can always seem to climb over them. I think I would have a hard time getting over them but they always seem to manage it.

12-10-2007, 11:10 PM
Male pts and me putting on rubber gloves (for wound care). I always seem to bring up prostrate exams.

12-11-2007, 10:59 PM
I often quip "Here's your steak and lobster" when I'm hanging an IV on an NPO patient. Usually gets a pretty good giggle.

12-27-2007, 01:39 PM
When I'm inserting a catheter on a female patient, I always tell them what I am doing before I do it - and when looking for the appropriate spot I tell them I have to survey the scenery...

I guess you just have to be there.:heeeelllllooooo:

Mr Ian
01-01-2008, 12:04 PM
I recall as a recently qualified RMN (mental health) I went on secondment to the local A&E / ED as a sort of liaison exercise (with so many of our self harming patients going there frequently).

I recall the Staff Dr there who was treating a moderate sporting celebrity who just broke his tibia at a soccer game. The patient asked the doc if there was anyway of treating him without the pain involving all the manipulation...

he replied, "Well we could hold a crystal prism over it and chant some magic words..."

Perhaps not being funny "with" the patient... but he played for a crap team anyhow.