View Full Version : Death of a colleague

Scalpal Sal
04-03-2008, 05:08 PM
Just wanted to say that I attended the funeral today of a work colleague of many years.

He was an orthopaedic surgeon who I have known since he was a senior house officer and sadly he died on Saturday from Carcinoma of the stomach with bony secondaries.

The whole process from feeling unwell enough to visit his doctor , to his passing on Saturday was just one year exactly !!

I feel that I have lost a dear friend and that the hospital has lost a valuable, competent and capable surgeon.

Sorry to be maudling - I feel better having put it down on paper.

04-03-2008, 05:28 PM
Really sorry to hear about the loss of your colleague. It is hard to cope with losing friends and colleauges in such a way, especially when we are the ones who are meant to be doing the caring. You are right though, it is good to share things with others.

04-03-2008, 07:06 PM
I'm very sorry for your loss. Feel free to tell us more about him if you'd like!

04-03-2008, 09:35 PM
Oh, Sal, I'm so sorry! Just a year between the first symptoms and then his passing? How sad! : (

04-04-2008, 06:54 AM

I am so very sorry your friend died.

Won't you please tell us about him?


04-04-2008, 10:20 PM
Sal, I'm so sorry for your loss. Most people don't realize that when you work with someone for an extended period of time, they become as close as family. I had a similiar experience when one of our ER doctor's died suddenly in a plance crash. It was a heart wrenching experience, one that still lingers in our ER today. The ones that knew him, keep him alive by telling those who did not.

Scalpal Sal
04-05-2008, 04:07 PM
This doctor was "dying " for 12 months with Ca. even though he rallied around after Chemo, but when people die suddenly and in such tragic circumstances like a plane crash - it is so shattering isn't it ?

Two years ago, one of our General Practitioners collapsed and died when he was cycling with his two young sons - the whole hospital was stunned for months... It was as if he would walk into theatre at any time and carry on as before.

Some say nurses need to be "hardened" to death, but when its a close friend....... I for one become as affected as the next person.

Thank you all for your condolences it does help ease the pain by talking to others.

04-05-2008, 05:15 PM
Not to hijack this thread, but something in Sal's last comment really struck home. The whole issue of sometimes straddling two worlds -- that of professional and that of private individual.

I think it's often the hardest when you have someone close to you that is ill or hurt. When people find out you're a nurse (or doctor or whatever) there can be this expectation (both internal as well as external) that you'll keep that professional hat on even when you're trying to deal with your own emotional responses and needs.

For some, it's good. Being able to fill that familiar role keeps you grounded. But other times, you want to "just" be the parent, or child or sibling.

I remember, back when I was a student, one of my classmates had a patient who had a very complicated situation, fraught with tragedy. The pt's wife was not only a nurse, but a very well known nurse educator. The student was at first terrified, afraid that the wife would be watching and critiquing her every move. Instead, the wife asked that she be treated like any other patient S.O. and be allowed to be in that role.

04-19-2008, 11:06 PM
I am sorry to read about your friend and admired colleauge and for his family. How sad. CA is horrible. We had a patient we scanned just yesterday, 48 yrs old, found CA of the liver and mets to the brain.