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  #31  
Old 11-16-2007, 12:17 PM
neuronurse
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I had a pt today who was pleasantly confused. I walked in to find him flinging his 100% nonrebreather mask in the air, he looked at me and said "I finally got that last piece off." He had such a big grin on his face it broke my heart to tell him he had to put it back on. He pouted for the rest of the night.
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  #32  
Old 11-25-2007, 06:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Mrs.Rollins View Post
I was helping a 95 year-old patient to change into clean street clothes last week. She was very buxom, and her bra was clearly not large enough. I struggled, pulled, and contorted with all my might to get the thing closed and just could not do it. I told her that I didn't think this one was going to cut it anymore. Without missing a beat she says, "Well, I guess I should get a new one. But I'm 95! I don't even buy green bananas."

I laughed until my stomach hurt.
AHHHH Bras, kept them away from me! I have enough trouble working out which way the panties go.
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  #33  
Old 11-26-2007, 04:23 AM
m_rizzle
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Best I can remember is an elderly patient who had the misfortune of sharing a room with a rather whiny, difficult younger woman who complained about everything. Literally, everything. I was taking the whiny lady's vitals, and she wouldn't stop bitching about how tight the b/p cuff was, getting snotty about it. When I was finally done, I had to walk past the older woman's bed to leave... as I pass, I see her gesturing for me to come over, so I do, thinking she might need some assistance with something. She has me lean in close so she can whisper, in her sweet, pleasant-toned old granny voice:

"Next time just put that damned thing around her neck!"

Took every ounce of self control I had not to just dissolve into a fit of laughter right then and there...
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  #34  
Old 12-11-2007, 01:39 AM
DisappearingJohn
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Originally Posted by Mother Jones, RN View Post
I imagine that many male patients are happy to see male nurses on the unit when it's time for a bed bath. Do you ever have female patients refuse to have you for their nurse because you are a man?

MJ
I've only had one patient refuse to let me be their nurse, and they were a member of an Islamic sect that required wearing a burkha at all times, etc... they would not even allow a male doctor (luckily for them we had a female ED doc that night)...

Of course, I'm not an incredibly young, virile specimen of a man anymore, so maybe I'm not as threatening...

I go out of my way to make the patient comfortable, and respect their privacy as much as possible; if I don't make it seem like its a big deal, they don't seem to, either...

I do have to admit to being glad I don't have to do pelvics, though... I make up for it by doing plenty of foleys for my female counterparts, though
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  #35  
Old 12-13-2007, 08:06 AM
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How come most of these stories are about elderly pts and mostly female.

Anyway, had a pt who required fluids stat over 12h for low BP, explained this to the pt that it would take 12h for the bags to empty. She replied thats good, I just don't want it going while I'm trying to sleep. This was at 2000h. She wasn't impressed when I told her that the 12h would be up at 0800h.

It seemed funny at the time.

On another note:
Old Grays Anatomy ep. Pt says while having BP taken '...are you trying to cut of my circulation..' YEH that is how BP measurements work!
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  #36  
Old 12-13-2007, 01:02 PM
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We had a renal patient the other day. Lost the IV site and this woman was a hard stick. So we got the doppler out in attempt to visualize any vein that could be stuck... definitely for labs, but hopefully for an iv site. Pt is in her own drowsy state awaiting dialysis.. which could not be done until we had the labs... until the needle went into her arm. And booom.. she flew up out of the chair and started yelling "You are going to suck out ALL of my blood.. aren't you??" Evil eyes glaring and then back to sleeping she went.

Well we got the blood for the lab but the iv site was a no go. Thankfully she went out to the floor after dialysis.

and P/J... I think the elderly, especially the women, just tend to be funnier? I guess some of the things they say we just don't expect they would say.
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  #37  
Old 12-18-2007, 01:05 AM
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Funny story from my last placement, more situational than said to me. The hospital has taken nursing students for years, but due to the lack of places for med students they have started to take them as well. During the planing stage by the hospital, me and another nurse were using the office to which the med students were to be assigned (we used it to do assignments, de-brief, etc). So of course we decorated it with lots of nursing posters, cartoons, slogans. AS soon as the med students arrived, it all disappeared, but every now and then I would see one of my cartoons on a NUMs office door.

Anyway as students we have access to patient files. We are told on day one that if we take them away from the main nurses station , then we have to tell the clerk (there are 2 desks due to the length of the ward, and more space on the 2nd desk so when writing notes we sometimes take the file down the ward). Anyway on one particluar day there was an announcment about 'can the med students please return all the files to the ICU', the comments on the wards was that you would never have that trouble with the nursing students.
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  #38  
Old 12-27-2007, 12:05 AM
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I had a patient today who is incontinent of urine. She went for an abdominal/pelvic ultrasound, but the radiologist said that her bladder wasn't full enough to get accurate results. So I decided that she would probably need a foley, so I got an order from the doctor to do so. I go to insert the foley and the patient stated to me that she has had a foley put in a few other times and each nurse who put it in had a pretty difficult time doing so. After hearing this I was preparing myself to have to call a more seasoned nurse to assist me, but I got it in on the first try. I looked up at the patient and she had a shocked look on her face and started laughing hysterically. I asked her what was so funny and she just said "nothing, I just thought of a good nickname for you- I'm going to call you the champion of the pee line!"
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  #39  
Old 12-27-2007, 01:34 PM
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AHHHH Bras, kept them away from me! I have enough trouble working out which way the panties go.
Dear lord, I nearly choked on my latte!
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  #40  
Old 12-27-2007, 05:27 PM
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At the frail care I work at we have this dear 97 year old lady whose great granddaughter has just produced a child. Our 97 year old, when the frail care was full of relatives visiting their family members, shouts at the top of her voice (and its a strong loud voice)"I'm pregnant and I don't know who the father is." Her son who was visiting at the time and is fairly high up in the local Scout movement nearly dropped his cup of tea.
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