Nursing Voices Forum – Meet other nurses, share your nursing knowledge and experiences
Nursing Talk from Around the Worlds

Go Back   Nursing Voices Forum – Meet other nurses, share your nursing knowledge and experiences > Laughter is the Best Medicine

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-14-2008, 10:10 PM
loryces
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default You Might Be a Nurse If...

"You Might Be a Nurse If..."

*You think it is acceptable to use "penis" and "vagina" in a normal conversation

*Ever rolled your eyes when the 14 year-old says, "No, I´ve never had sex."

*You hope there´s a special place in Hell for the inventor of the call light

*You can drink a pot of coffee and still go to sleep in the morning.

*You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazapam, and Compazine.

*You can´t see it; it´s probably not there.

*Your sense of humor seems to get more warped each year.

*You believe the definition of stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven´t fallen asleep yet.

*You believe not all patients are annoying. Some are dead.

*You see stress as a normal way of life.

*You have a tendency to laugh at your patient´s "big" problems.

*You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart.

*You´ve ever thought, "Patients, God love ´em, because today, I sure don´t!"

*Everything only happens all at once.

*You´ve ever been telling work stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw-up.

*You write a patient report and have to translate it to medical records because of all the acronyms in it.

*You notice that you use more four-letter words now than before you became a nurse.

*You look in your closet and can´t find anything non-medical to wear.

*You´ve ever told anyone in pain to "stop being a baby and deal with it."

*You have a patient in four-point leathers that asks if you´re a nurse, you reply "Yes", and walk away.

*You´ve ever told a patient to "stop faking it."

*You believe all bleeding stops...eventually.

*You don´t get excited about blood loss unless it´s your own.

*You don´t hit patients or doctors....unless absolutely necessary.

*You´ve ever said, "Why am I here?"


*Everyone gets treated exactly the same...until they piss you off.

*When you get a call telling you the name of your next admit and you can do the care plan before the patient gets to the floor.

*When called for orders, the MD says, "Write them yourself; you know the patient better than I do."

*You´ve ever had to contend with someone who thinks constipation for 4 hours is an emergency.

*Ever rolled your eyes when the 14 year-old says, "No, I´ve never had sex."

*You refer to motorcyclists as organ donors.

*You can eat a candy bar with one hand while performing digital stimulation on your patient with the other hand, and it doesn´t bother you.

*You believe Tylenol, Advil, or Excedrin provides a large part of your daily calorie intake requirements.

*You´ve ever held a 14-gauge needle over someone´s vein and said, "Now your going to feel a little stick."

*You can identify the "PID Shuffle" and the "Kidney Stone Squirm" at 15 feet.

*You´ve ever had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve earrings say, "I´m afraid of shots."

*You´ve ever thought, "As long as he´s got a pulse, I don´t care about the rhythm."

*You automatically multiply by three the number of drinks a patient claims to have daily.

*You can keep a straight face when a patient responds, "Just two beers."

*You feel that if someone is shot or stabbed, they probably deserved it.

*You stare at someone in utter disbelief when they actually cover their mouth to cough.

*You think "awake and stupid" is an appropriate choice for mental status.

*You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.

*You firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis.

*You have to leave the patient before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.

*You believe a book entitled "Suicide: Getting it Right the First Time" will be your next project.

*You´ve ever had a patient look you dead in the eye and say, "I don´t know how that got stuck in there."

*You have ever had a patient say, "I´m not pregnant, I can´t be pregnant! I can´t be having a baby!"
Reply With Quote
  
 

Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:21 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.1
Copyright © 2006-2012 Nursing Voices